No-AWP Report

Sorry I'm getting my post about No-AWP up a little late. It's just that No-AWP sucks this year. It's hard to remember what I ever liked about No-AWP. At No-AWP I keep not running into Matt Bell. It's true! I just keep sitting at my cubicle wondering whether I should quit my job. I go to sleep at a normal time. I'm always sober. At No-AWP I don't wonder where everybody suddenly went and then find them an hour later at the funnest table flying a helicopter. No, instead, this year at No-AWP I go long stretches of the day before running into writers I really like, like justin sirois or Michael Kimball. I haven't seen Ric Royer at No-AWP for weeks. I know Ric Royer is around somewhere at No-AWP, but there isn't a funnest table to meet him at.

No-Peter Cole is punching me in my No-face, I think, it's confusing, this negativity.

At No-AWP I can't figure out how to upload videos.

There are No-shots at the No-Hobart table. No-Elizabeth Ellen and No-Aaron Burch are no-standing at that table all the time at No-AWP. No-Zach Dodson is no-awesome. One thing about No-AWP is I'm always taking No-smokes with No-Daniel Bailey.

I rode the bus home from work last night and saw No-Blake Butler doing an amazing reading at No-AWP. At No-AWP no one wears badges that say Adam Robinson, not even No-Jereme Dean or No-Craig Griffin. I don't hear about a box of badges that say Adam Robinson from Ryan Call. No-Ryan Call bites compared to Ryan Call. I'm having a serious problem with No-Ryan Call and No-Shane Jones and No-Christy Call being at No-AWP this year. Where the heck is No-Mike Young? He's everywhere. Where is he? He's at No-AWP.

This weekend, though, should be better. I'm going to see No-Blake Butler and No-Shane Jones. No-Molly Gaudry is coming from Philadelphia. It will be at that actual thing, the five:ten. It won't be anything like this bullshit No-AWP. It'll be a lot like AWP.